When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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