is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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