I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
