Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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