Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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