So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
