Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
