New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
