We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
