Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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