Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
