She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize