Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
