Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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