Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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