I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize