umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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