Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
