were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize