You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
