did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
God, I missed his penis.
tell me about the fingering
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