I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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