that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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