How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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