Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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