The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
