oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize