I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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