You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
