I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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