In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
