Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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