So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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