I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
How's work?
Spinning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
