he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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