three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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