It's Friday. Sex?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
