some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
