you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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