You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
