Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
where am i from again
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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