Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
