May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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