i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
