Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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