I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
