Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
