I bet he comes in French.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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