from now on my penis is your penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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