So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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