so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
