i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
