My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
