I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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