I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
