I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize