i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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