proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I fill condoms, not promises.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize