Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
