yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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