My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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