We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
