found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He felt like a one man threesome
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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