He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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