Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
