don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
