I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
