he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize